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Beginning this week, some of our checking accounts will be a little fatter from getting that long-talked-about, long-awaited economic stimulus rebate from Uncle Sam. While waiting for my rebate, I’ve been pondering how far $300, $600 or $1,200 will go. Since I’m married with two kids, the largest sum of the aforementioned three would apply to my situation.
What can a family of four do with $1,200?
Take your family and seven other families of four to Noah’s Ark in Wisconsin Dells for the day. That’s $32.99 x 32 people = $1,055.68. And assuming that five minivans are needed to transport your entourage at a generous 24 miles per gallon for the 180-mile round trip at $4 per gallon comes to $150 for a grand total of $1,255.68.
Surely you have $55.68 in change floating around somewhere so your family and seven other families of four can float around for the day at Noah’s Ark.
By the way you won’t be able to eat or buy souvenirs.
So maybe you don’t want to take 28 other people with you to have a good time. How about a Brewers game? You might be able to hit as many as four or five, depending on where you sit at Miller Park. If you sit in Bernie’s Terrace, you might be able to get to that fifth game.
However, if you’re like me, you prefer to actually see the players without paying through the nose for tickets, sit in Terrace Box seats for $19 a piece. With that you should be able to pay for parking, get four hot dogs, two Cokes, two beers, and maybe enough to buy one plush sausage racing doll.
Oh yeah, if you want to stay overnight, hopefully you can find a place for under $100 a night. Otherwise you might as well pack your tent and stay at a campground.
Or, if you’re committed to finding a way to lowering the price of health care, give this some thought. One person can fly to Caracas, Venezuela, to interview Venezuelans about their health care system under Hugo Chavez. Except you’d only have enough money for a one-way flight from La Crosse with connections in Minneapolis, Chicago and Mexico City.
If you leave now, you could make it back to the La Crosse area just in time for school to start. You’d have to make your way to the Panama Canal to try to work as a deckhand for passage on a freighter heading to New Orleans, hop off the freighter and wind your way up the Mississippi River on a series of towboats working as a deckhand.
That said, a one-way trip to Chavez’s back yard to see firsthand how things are run isn’t my — or anybody’s — idea of a good time. For $1,200, I’ll gladly sing “Roll Out the Barrel” at Miller Park — no matter how off-key I’d be.
Columnist Tim Gray, a West Salem resident, can be reached at tim.gray.matter@gmail.com.
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